Behind Every Good....

There are moments in life which need to be snapped up, grabbed, locked down ,...oh Whatever!!... Mrs. Tpm came along in one of those such moments..she sneaked in, almost undetected, through the ether of the internet, found lurking in one of those 'pots'. Tpm was seeking out new 'blends' at that time, and his search became global in his constant quest for the perfect brew!


So it came to pass, quite a few 'brews' ago that tpm flew 'stateside' and met up with the now mrs.tpm and after several 'cups', a union was formed and officially sealed at a ceremony attended by connoisseurs of a good brew (family and friends) at a romantic venue north of the border.


Its true to say that there are cultural differences between my 'pot' and that of Mrs. tpm. The English language has been 'mashed' since crossing the Atlantic, and there are times when an interpreter would be of use. (you say too-may-toe and I say toe-mar-toe..etc). We get by, our 'handles' not actually that far apart. The good lady has a background in the floristry field of life and her fingers are in fact greener than most. We have a propensity for myrth and merriment that transcends those times when I cannot understand a word she says!!
(green fingers)
It soon transpired to those knowledgeable amongst us, that mrs.tpm has in fact a pretty accomplished curriculum vitae and will in fact have a go at any D.I.Y. job that needs attention. 'Handy Andy' aint got nuttin on this gal'. So it came to pass,again, that tpm's 'caddy' has been turned into a rather neat place to hang out.(After many years of a 'one-cup' life.) Regrettably, this past time has been hampered of late by heavy handed gleaming white coated chaps who have viewed the 'hanging out' as being required of stronger medication!


Her talents are so varied that I would bore you to recount all, but a few are worthy of mention..her ability to drop off within 5 minutes of going to bed, of invading the whole bed, leaving precious little room for tpm and his 'spoons'.Seriously though, her creativity and skill with the needle, sewing machine, scissors, drills, mitre saw....zzzzzzzzzzz....


Apologies dear readers..in recounting her many skills, tpm floated off like a used teabag.Suffice it to say that there is nothing that mrs. tpm will not attempt, whether it will be helping Pelo fit the matriarch's new kitchen, lay laminate flooring...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... landscaping the tired old foundations..NO! not tpm, but the gardens of the family estate!


Mrs. tpm is not one for complaining....she has learned the futility of such, but clearly she does from time to time, feel homesick for her own 'teapot haven'. Recipes here appear slightly askew from the USA and interpretations are sometimes harder than perhaps were intended. Although...it needs saying that the wuss does not yearn for those Nebraskan winters, but come the warmer seasons, can be found 'goodwilling', 'thrifting' and otherwise bargain shopping in her homeland.


Of late, it appears that our beloved, or should that be be-littled kin, Pelo has been hankering after her for her 'spongy delights'.I am led to believe that this may in fact be a reference to ' Victorian Sponge cake' which is yet another forte of mrs. tpm. her cullinary delights have been sampled and adored by many, whilst I have been under the influences of those gleaming white...yada yada...


The long and the short of it, you must make up your own minds on the question of whose attributes are whose, is that mrs. tpm has indeed lived up to the expectations as expressed by that most wise sage, when he sayeth unto us, intended for our wedding day I feel sure,"Today is going to be a changing day in your life". He was NOT wrong.


Mrs.Tpm, tpm lifts his 'lid' to you and validates, appreciates and in this passage of time in a meister's life, communicates with you! Behind every good pot, is an even better one lurking...'hey, did someone call you before the kettle boiled and tell you i was stupid?'


Ho humm..so glad I'm a teapot...! xx

What Day is it tomorrow?

It's been over 3 years since the patriarch 'crossed over', suddenly, with no warning, leaving behind a huge hole in all our lives. Since that time, I have taken to telephoning the matriarch a number of times each day, somewhere between 4-5 times, depending on what's going on in our universe!

I hear mutterings of 'whats that got to do with the price of fish', "did I need to know that". No, of course you did not, but its tpm's way of letting the world know that whilst this blog is intended to be a nonsensical,light hearted attempt at trivia, tpm does have the ability to touch on serious issues occasionally.

The point that has escaped the thread thus far, and has left even those gleaming white coated persons tutting,( and threatening to up the dose) is that once again, its Friday tomorrow. The matriarch spreads her good works around the village on Friday afternoons, pandering to those shoppers looking for what they think is a bargain in a charitable way.

It seems that I ask the matriarch, " What day is it tomorrow" at least three times a week, so frequently do we get around to Thursday evenings. At last, point made, move on...and so I shall..its been a few days since I appended my daily doings...not as some may be thinking, my 'motions', but my recounting of daily events here in tpm's upturned saucer of life!

Last weekend, the tpm's dined out at a local hostelry with like minded persons of the driving fraternity. The associations were cordial, if perhaps a little boring for Mrs. teapotmeister who, bless her, looked interested, even though it was more akin to watching paint dry at times. The food was edible, if sometimes on the cooler side of warm, caused by the rather high numbers of persons gathered for the purposes of saving on the washing up liquid!

Monday saw the 'Demon Damien' back behind the wheel of tpm's tuition.There have been occasions in the recent past, when tpm has queried the point of it all and no more likely to occur when 'DD' gets behind the wheel. Try to stay with me on this peeps, do not be caught out by the initials and wander off in to Dolly Parton land. Rest assured, that an hour with 'DD' and you are completely ready for that fantasy, and more appropriately, are simply begging the gleaming white coats for increased meds! Such nerve jangling exploits merit higher rewards than are currently on offer and were it not for an utter dislike of fish fingers,I can assure you that there would most definitively be a 'reduction' done on 'DD'!

Tuesday saw tpm drive our midwife daughter and her illustrious 'live in' doctor partner to the airport so she could immerse herself in Salzburg, playing the role of "Maria" of "Sound of Music" fame - slightly concerned as to who she will choose as her Captain! Apart from the usual contretemps with the rodent driver of a black hackney carriage who felt he owned the whole of the road, that outing slipped quietly into history..a rarity in itself!

The next day was wholly uneventful...the client list precluded any activity for that day so tpm had a day behind the keyboard, occasionally conversating by telephone with IT expert Peloponezian, who seems to be having some success with our erstwhile correspondent, wife in the north.




Following a traffic accident and subsequent injury to one's aunt and uncle in West Yorks, Pelo and the matriarch went visiting there and thus it was not necessary to make as many telephone calls today.Bruising and broken ribs seem to be the extent of the injuries, thankfully. Our thoughts are with them both for speedy recovery though the car may be terminal!

A quieter, more controlled session behind the wheel on Thursday allows me to conclude that apart from the traffic accident, there is not alot to report on. My conclusion in this is that I should actually revert back to drivelling on about teapots, teabags, cups of tea, with two Dolly's! Yes, you can now wander there!


Ho humm....so glad I'm a teapot!....xx

Being proud.....

Its always a rewarding time when tpm sees the 'fruits' of his labours...yes indeed, I was there at the joyous birth of my offspring. I have the stretch marks to prove it! Both occasions were immensely proud times in an otherwise satisfactory, if not brilliantly outstanding epoch. The glow of pride,emanating from the then young fizzog was enough to light up Blackpool illuminations for a whole season!

I look back now and remember those instants when the world was blessed by the entry of tpm's daughters! If one could see into the future, maybe read a few tea leaves! - a dying art form- what a thrill it would have been to see how well they have matured and grown.

To recap, the eldest is a successful and completely gorgeous midwife. Gorgeous is my adjective, it bears no resemblance, no connection to the arts and designs of a midwife per se. Though I believe it takes a particular type of person to deal with childbirth in others, and an even more peculiar type of person to actually give birth.A well earned, hard laboured four year 'degree' in pain! PAIN?...I am led to believe, that if one were to dare ask women how much pain they are in during labour, most women would just say, "A LOT!" Ho humm!

I recall being present at both conception, ("eeuuuwww daddy!, gross, too much information "! ) and birth of my 'stirrings' and the abuse reigned at me during those 'short, fast pantings' by their dear mother was nothing short of appalling, unnecessary and most unlady like! It would perhaps have been more beneficial for the p(r)antings to have been used for breathing rather than hurling that ungrateful and most definitely unwarranted abuse in my direction.


Whoopsa daisy, I digressed again..(that'll be the meds kicking in again), having actually been involved in the pleasure, ho humm. I suppose I should have been involved in the pain? Though at this juncture, I need to admit that I actually never felt a thing, twinge, whince or whatever. Thats for another day..My second truly scrumptious offering is a remarkable academic who has managed to achieve a '1st class honours', a 'masters' and now is hunting down her next 'victim', the Ph.D. 'Needles' as she has recently been aka'd, is at the same time,busy creating a 'cottage industry' in knitting scarves, gloves and hats.

How much of what these two fabulous specimens of womanhood have achieved is down to my 'genes', will rightly be open to scrutiny, examination, discussion, dissemination, but never 'villification'.What they will achieve in the future is limitless, and as long as they remember the 'oh so small part' their father played and take care of me as I decay into a darkened brown-stained old 'pot', with a wayward, meandering spout,I will be truly contented!

To be clear, I seek no public gratification, reward or any such like honour for my efforts. I embrace my girls to the 21st Century world and am absolutely convinced they will play a huge part in it.Cheers, I raise my cup and affirm that TPM is a proud meister!

All those in favour say "Aye".."The Ayes have it, the Ayes have it". These two may well and truly be hung around one's neck like medals for all the world to see and wish that they had had what I have!

Ho humm...so glad I'm a teapot!..xx..

Another 'box' opened

I have been inundated, not to mention, swamped, with requests for further editions to be made here. Now I know that there are those amongst you out there who are frowning at the screen right this very minute. I understand your concerns, and I rush to allay those fears immediately. NO! I am not hearing 'those' voices again...The meds have been double dosed since the flashing white coats found my hidden unswallowed cache. So, the 'voices' who often times send messages to me have for now at least, gone on vacation.

My understanding actually, although I have to confess that the last exam by the psych was somewhat blurred, is that the voices have in fact, been transcendatalised (see, the meds do work, I typed that in one go!). For those investigative readers I should clarify...the voices have been sent away.. their forwarding address can be found here.

Its sad, neigh, distressing, to read the ramblings of a once revered and respected,if not often 'looked upto', IT specialist. His visit the other day, in tandem with the matriarch, was a minor celebration of his birthday. Mrs Teapotmeister had "known he was coming and so baked a cake!" The reference to bikini atoll that he made was I have to admit, in no small way, my idea.The secret as to the fashioning of said shape however, has to remain a secret.

The matriarch was so lovingly impressed of her off-spring that she felt it necessary to examine the inside of her eyelids for dustful remnants for some time.

Breaking news has reached the infirmary today..though the information was passed via 3rd parties, I have confirmed ....Our beloved and learned correspondent, wifeinthenorth has reached out to the masses in the capital. She has made contact with many readers who have taken to her publishings and I offer my heartiest congrats but offer a very sincere word of warning. Be wary of the references to one's childrens tribulations, for the newly concentrated minds will be asking, "Did you involve me in the pleasure? Then dont involve me in the pain". It is a fact that not all of our esteemed readers have indulged in off-spring rearing, and some who have have often times wondered, " A moments pleasure for a lifetime of misery, and who can remember the pleasure?".

The kindly attendant has brought me a fresh pair of hand coverings so that I can prepare for Mrs. tpm's visit around 5.20pm. So for now my inquisitive and oh so loyal followers, I must bid you a farewell. Before being dragged away into the darkened and dimly lit areas away from public consumptions, I want to express my thanks for all of his work in 2007, to Peloponezian. True, there have been times when his work rate was equally as lethargic as the current Ashes tour, but he has perservered and refused to be beaten by technological advances. There have been times too, when his meds have been ineffective, he has suffered muchly but never sought sympathy. Probably as well really, given his element of freedom is greater than those of us under the sphere of those gleaming white coats. So, if I werent manicled, I would stand and lead the group in a chorus of "For he's a jolly good fellow".

Ho humm....so glad I'm a teapot..!

Catching up with recent events

Its been a few days since I have been able to get 'caught up' with tales of life in tpm's pot. There are numerous reasons for this absence, but my therapist tells me that there was an error with my meds and I was accidentally over prescribed! Yeh right.. did somebody call him before the visit and tell him I was stupid?

So you are asked by tpm to make allowances if the writing is more like your Earl Grey than the more traditional golden brown blend. Where to start is the question...." Oh get on with it anywhere..." I hear your expectant anticipation. A couple of days ago, the produce of my loins came for a visit. It was a restricted visit allegedly due to constraints of time in their busy schedules, but my thinking, in my more alert moments is that they were ushered in and out by those stiff white coats.

Nevertheless, it was good to see my girls, in whom I am proud. The eldest, who lovingly tends to the heavy panting, constantly whingeing brigade of females about to be visited by that lofty 'stork' and the youngest, whose nickname hence forth shall be 'needles'. This stemming from her recent addiction to stitching up the odd yarn or two! They have grown and matured into fine specimens of womanhood and even if I do say so myself, are a veritable credit to me and I expect many accolades to come my way in response to their presence on this mortal coil.

Speaking of 'coil'.. I am prone to wonder whatever happened to that most endearing of my students, curiously referred to as 'the coil' following an exciting if all but too graphic explanation from her, during her driving lesson, about the night she lost her coil and deemed herself to be pregnant! I was forced to interrupt her tale at that point to remind her to 'main mirror, left mirror, signal left'. Undaunted, she carried out the instructions well, negotiated the turn and continued to put my mind at rest that the missing article had in fact surfaced later that day. Her 'in depth' recollections of the search for the scoundrel was undoubtedly more information than... but the life of driving instructor, similar to that of the confessional..etc.,etc. 'Twenty thousand leagues under the sea', sprang to mine for some reason, but ebbed away!

I often times think it a shame that she did pass her test as her risque stories were far more entertaining than any amount of Mirror-Signal-Position-Speed-Look. Ho humm...

So to yesterday....my adventures out onto the tarmacadam have been somewhat restricted lately....what with trying to escape the guards, and a dearth of willing pups, its been a trial and a tribulation. However, yesterday, I am pleased and yet too saddened to report that my friend of oriental extraction passed his test at the fifth attempt. I could see it happening for him this time and thus whilst not surprised, am deeply saddened by the loss of future revenues. His reluctance to make out a weekly payment order to maintain my lifestyle was not the first instance of downright selfishness, but hurts even the more for the number of failures he has attributed to tpm's method of teaching. Shame on you ...shame.

Tomorrow, 17th, is the birthday of a beloved relative..one whom has a 'little' standing in the bosom of the family. I mention the bosom as it is a particular favourite of his and on this special day, our brest wishes go to him. 'Happy Birthday to you , happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear pelo '.

"Ho humm...so glad I'm a teapot...!"

At the risk of seeming to have taken on the mantle of a 'game-show' host, I thought we might open this posting with a small, if not completely cylindrical, quiz.

There are no prizes for correctly, or even, incorrectly, for that matter, guessing the origins or plight of the suspended items. However, once you have successfully identified each of the items, please call on 0800-426-2848, and leave your name and contact number, together with the number of items identified! You will receive a visit in a flash, before you can say, " I truly am a 40 watt bulb situated in a 240 watt socket!"

So, having dispensed with the trivia not to mention banale, lets deal with some of the more pressing issues that have arisen since our last meeting. Yesterday, we were truly blessed by a visit from our matriarch, heads bowed reverently at the title, ensuring our eyes never accidentally meet her gaze!. The carriage which she uses to convey herself around we lesser beings was in dire need of succour and I was deemed to be a fit and proper person to engage a lowly man to carry out the said application. "Hallejuah"

The majesty that is herself, then further endowed more blessings upon us by granting an audience with her most gracious self. (When I say that, I have been threatened not to mention the periods of time, four in total, when her most loving eyelids appeared to have stuck tight together and an eerie silence fell across the room).

It seemed no longer than the blink of one of those revered eyelids and she was gone, swept off into the dusky evening in her trusty carriage. I do feel my day was enriched in such a small, yet simple loving way.

If I may, just for a moment, pause to ponder, then to pose a question which was raised in another place by one of our troubled readers. Namely, the heated or perhaps more succintly, gone cold, matter of a number of brews of late. I was rounded upon, triangulised and downright berated for ALLEGEDLY supplying my visitor with sub-standard, nay, cold libations of the leaf.

This hurtful and thoughtless attack, left me as a punctured remnant of my former self.. ie, in leaves! I have searched for the answer, stewed, brewed, cogitated and strained and I believe that I have now found the answer to the dilemna...these postings!!

Throwing onesself into the middle of such oratory, with such gusto, not to mention, panache, results quite simply, but so sadly, in many cups of the elixir of the gods being drained of their body heat. Not in unsimilar fashion one could presuppose , to that of the weather-beaten, battered and somewhat apparently,disconsolate member as she writes of the bosom of her family life. Particularly, it would appear,around the same time as the nocturnal habits of said member's suckling offspring. Thus so it is, that the brews, so innocently left idle on the placemat at the side of the keyboard, are failing to retain their efficaciousness.

Let this be a salutory lesson to all those incorporating the blog into daily life..."tend ye to thine own lips whilst ye may".

"Ho humm...so glad I'm teapot...!"

From my Loins....

Dear listeners, thankyou once again for joining us on the saucer of life to revel in what is truly the most remarkable asset in one's life... Of what do I speak now I hear you ask through the mist and haze of the hour...

I speak, with more than a hint of blushing pride, of the products of my loins. For those less blessed than tpm (teapotmesiter), I am glowingly raving about my children. I have two, to be precise; the eldest of whom cares and tends , in a loving way, so I'm told, for those heavily laden females of the species who have also had activity stirring from loins.

The second, an academic of gigantic intellectual enquiry, has, for those of you not nimble of finger or dexterous of mind enough to find her comment, created further doubt as to the stability of the meaning of life in general and this writer in particular.

The question is posed from the halls of mancunian academia as follows;

"What is this all about? How can a teapot be blogging? Teapots have no fingers to type, for a start. Something fishy is afoot, I think we should be told."

Now then, those of you not in your dotage, and able to recall something you read but a few moments ago, will recall I spoke of 'blushing pride' as I introduced the subject of my loins!!

It is remarkably pleasing to a parent to have evidence that their years of toil and pain have not been in vain and that the fruits of their, yes, you've guessed it.....labours...have been nurtured into fertile, inquisitive and life challenging minds. In no small way, though one doesnot like to embellish an already good tale, I claim credit, by the teapotful, for my second and valuable contribution to the world of womanhood.

She has laid down the gauntlet for her father, knowing that as always, he will provide her with the answers to her questions, in much the same fashion as he did when as a child, she lovingly enquired of further information on the true status of Father Christmas.

In that spirit, and because I am ready to face the challenge, I offer her, and you, my dear followers of the blend, the peace of mind she so earnestly seeks.

'What is this all about?' Truly, it is about nonsense and is an opportunity to examine in some finer detail, the comings and goings of the archetypal teapot!

'How can a teapot be blogging? Teapots have no fingers to type for a start.' I can only say this, think outside of the box, if you still buy your tea in boxes, teapots have spouts!. Long live the spouts, they're not just at Christmas dinner, but for life!!

'Something fishy is a foot...' She asks this question, in a predominantly loving, but audaciously beautiful attempt to showcase her father's wide and revered knowledge of all things fishmongery and so that I may reveal to the world that in fact, contrary to her initial findings, "a foot is actually twelve inches!!!! "

And so it was, as it had always been, that the story was told and the world went to sleep a better place, enveloped as usual by its exclusively grand velvet tea-cosy.I think I have adequately shown why my 'cup runneth over'...

Ho humm...so glad I'm a teapot..xxx

A day of pleasureable entertainment

I have considered muchly since my last offering as to how and where to lead you through the murky dwellings inhabited by sad, old and redundant tea bags.

My day began with a cup of elixir, brewed with loving care by my own hand before bringing the art of driving to a higher level than my two pups were ready for, or so it seemed on more than one occasion.
The 'T'meister was well and truly 'drawn' after a 50 minute non stop full talk through tuition session.

In the manner to which we know our readers have become accustomed, we survived the morning and returned to the 'caddy' to rest and rejuvenate.

It was at that point that further coordination and work on publishing documents was carried out with our beleagured relative who has shown himself to be made of sturdy stuff, if in no other fashion than the creative arts department. Concern is had over his mental capacity, however I do not feel pre-disposed to diagnose any further at this point as the lights have been dimmed and those kindly blessed persons adorned with brilliant white coats have been unable to detect my presence under the desk...shh... quiet typing is the order of the day, lest we raise the alarm and find ourselves subjected to further medicatory solutions.

The time has come, so I believe the walrus said...to think of other things,.. of shoes, ships and candlewax...xx

"Ho humm.. so glad I'm a teapot...!"

The teapotmeister has landed

Okay, so here we are.. the teapotmeister straining away to bring joy and love to the world of stewing and contemplation.

Knowing where to start is difficult as the medication might wear off before I am half way through and then the dregs will rise and float on the surface, clouding what must already seem to be scented leaf.

Why I am doing this is beyond me just now, having lots of more pressing tasks to attend to, but I feel obliged to make some sense of all this down time.

Darn it.. if that regeditor asks me one more time if it can check for an update it knows it can't reach...hasnt anyone ever told it, its an inanimate object, responsible to me and my foibles, although at this time of the year, they are much smaller foibles than in the heat of summer...Another mystery for us to conjure with and perhaps offer some thought as to the variable size of one 's foibles as compared to those of another.

It's been a trying day, for no real reason except trials are good for the soul, gives one backbone and moral "what's it tude..." Now there are strong winds ablowin thru the trees, doors shaking with the vibrations, fence panels wanting to fly away as if their existence elsewhere would be of any greater benefit than they are to me right at this moment.

So, just for now, because this is the first posting of a blog which may take shape or which might become a heavily stewed item in the bottom of the pot..I shall vacate this place but promise myself to return in a much more eloquent, meaningful and appropriate tone.

"Ho humm...so glad I'm a teapot..!"